Farewell to a lovely lady

Over a year of steady decline, the inevitable end happened today. In the past 3 weeks Mom said she was experiencing pain in her legs and would not transfer without screaming and crying. After a trip to the ER and being told there was physically nothing wrong it came down to the brain. On Wednesday, when she would no longer get out of bed, Bob brought a hospital bed into the living room and another bed in for Dad. After struggling with pain management, we brought in hospice on Friday afternoon. Fr. Unsworth from St. Bernard's came and administered anointing of the sick. Mom was animated and grateful. Someone found a CD of music from the 40s and 50s and it seemed to calm and comfort her. Every once in a while she would wake up and sing along. When the hospice nurse came Saturday afternoon, as she was adjusting the bedding and checking vitals she said, "she's going". We all gathered around the bed and watched her take her last breath. I opened a window because we had heard that this was a practice done to let the spirit out. When her body had been removed and people had been called, we sat down in the dining room. Dad said, "do you think I could have a beer?" We toasted Mom and I noticed that the sun was setting over the cove. I went outside to take a picture of my glass with the sunset in the background and noticed a cloud formation that looked just like an angel. We all stood on the deck and took pictures and took comfort in what we thought we saw. Thanks for saying good bye Mom. Quite a day.

New Jersey Roadtrip

After months of surgeries and struggles, my Father called and said that he wanted to talk to me. When I arrived at the house he was holding a card to his chest. It was an invitation to a 90th birthday party for his cousin...in New Jersey. He wanted to go to the party and asked if I would drive he and my mother. Seeing how important to him it was I agreed. I was not sure what it would be like to spend 48 hours, much of it in the car, with these two. I picked them up on Saturday morning with my navigation system set and my attitude set on "positive". My Dad got in the car with his ancient GPS and maps galore and away we went. I know that it is important to keep my Mom oriented, especially in the car. She likes to know where we're going and where we are. I was narrating the towns and exits to her as we were driving out of RI and into CT. A truck passed us and she said, "that was a big car!" At our first rest stop in Madison, CT I realized it would be best for her to sit in the middle of the back seat because sitting behind the front seats she could not hear very well. Also, for some reason my Dad spoke softly in the car. At this point I turned on the Waze navigation on my phone, on which I had selected Stephen Colbert's voice as he was the celebrity voice at the time. He had funny asides and I remembered that the voice of the navigation took the responsibility off me to fill Mom in. She also thought Colbert was funny. As my Dad tried to use the maps Waze eased us through New Haven and we stopped at a Texas Roadhouse for lunch. I sat across from Mom and we shared a burger. She liked to be eating the same thing as those around her. I also learned that water is not a favorite with her. Dad pronounced his ribs "the best he'd ever had" and we got back in the car. The ride into NJ was smooth and it was fun to go over the Tappanzee Bridge and see the progress they were making on the construction of the new bridge. Dad got a kick out of the cranes and barges. We found the hotel easily and decided to take a little ride to see where the party was going to be held the next day. Every time we would get back in the car Dad would start to pull out his maps and I would cheerily say, "let's see what Stephen says." After a while Mom was enamored with him. At one point she asked where he was from and when I told her NJ she said, "no wonder he knows where we want to go." We found a nice Italian restaurant for dinner and they called it a night early. The hotel was on a main road so my options for walking were slim to none. I ended up on the treadmill in the fitness center and made a call to a friend to keep me company. I checked on the happy couple before I went to bed and they were sound asleep. In the morning I went to wake them and they were already dressed. The hotel had a continental breakfast which worked out well. The party was at the function room of the retirement community Gloria lived in and her daughter had put together a nice luncheon for us. Gloria was thrilled that we were there and I was glad that we came. Back in the car, my Dad's first words were, "we did it." The Sunday traffic was not bad and we made it to Mystic, CT in 3 hrs which was impressive...no stops. I like to have dinner before I go home from a road trip so we stopped at the Steak Loft. When I returned to our table from the ladies room my parents were arguing about the drinks. My dad and I had wine and my Mother water. She was pissed about the water. I quietly asked a waitress to bring ginger-ale in a wine glass and that seemed to satisfy her. There was a band playing music from the 40s and she began to sing along. All was right with the world. I delivered them home safely and helped them get into bed. It was a good trip and I'm glad we went.

Staph infection

They've diagnosed a staph infection in Mom's hip wound. More antibiotics and wound care.

Double Whammy

Another procedure to deal with Mom's hip wound, and reconstruction on Dad's ear all at the same time. I spent the day at Hasbro Hospital with Dad. All went well and they are both in recovery. lots of care needed, but we're doing it.

Hip Fix

Once again Mom needs surgery on her hip wound to deal with the drainage. The goal is to physically remove the infection. Fingers crossed.

Frankie turns 88

We've seen a year of slow decline. A family dinner, gifts and cake marked the event. She was very happy.

One Year Later

August 2013 we get the Alzheimer's diagnosis for my Mom. Mild to moderate leaning toward moderate. We bring in a home-care companion to help her with the laundry (which she obsesses over) and both Mom and Dad seem to do better. There will be a period of adjustment. Though they like Helen, I think there are times when they wonder why she's there. The objective is to help them stay in the house as long as possible. It will be a journey.